Have Joy

36 weeks!

2011-10-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

I had the worst night's sleep ever last night, and this kid isn't even out of me yet! Here's to a long, tired Monday!

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Conversations with the Husband

2011-10-14T12:23:00.001-07:00

Husband: Can I be honest with you?
Me: Ummm...yes please... (wary voice)
Husband: I don't LOVE that shirt you're wearing.
*pause*
Me: This is what 36 weeks pregnant and not-giving-a-crap look like. Soak it in. Did I mention that I don't give a crap? YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN GOT DRESSED BUDDY!

haha. I'm back, Bloggy Land. Though this might be a one time deal.

Vote for Sammy's!

2011-04-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Our little burger place, Sammy's, is in a local burger competition. So far we've made it to the finals!

And we want more!

Go to this link and vote for us in the finals. We are up against Fuddruckers, which is a hard one. But we can do it!

Vote here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Burger-Bracketology-2011-by-Stephen-Hales-Creative/155454771175200

Thanks lovers.

Five Weeks

2011-02-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

Five weeks ago today my life was forever changed. From then on, every holiday, every birthday, every wedding or birth or baptism or blessing would be laced with sadness. I will forever have a void in my life. An emptiness.

I have moments of peace, and moments of sadness so profound it takes my breath away.

I have found myself picking up my phone to call her, and ask her about this, or tell her about that. And I almost hope I don't ever stop doing that. I listen to her voice on saved voicemails, I watch old home videos and feel overwhelming gratitude for the amazing woman I was blessed to have as my mom. She lived more life in her 50 years than many do in 100.

I miss my mom. Here's to five weeks closer to being with her again.

Top ramen??

2011-02-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Have I been deceived? Why have I called this TOP ramen my whole life? There is no top to be found. And I am just noticing.

Sammy's!

2011-02-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Bored Children

2011-02-19T12:08:00.001-08:00

Woke up to find all the pictures in my house freshly decorated.

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Romance Is Nice...

2011-02-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

Romance is nice. But it is biological in origin. That dizzy head-over-heels feeling is a species of losing your mind, and most of the time it lasts only as long as the chase. What we keep forgetting is that in marriage, as opposed to romances, you aren't marrying the thrilling wonderful perfect Someone you're looking at right now. You're marrying the man who decides not to have the dazzling career with the high salary, refusing promotions and transfers so the kids don't have to change schools. You're marrying the woman whose body doesn't bounce back after the third baby, so she's no longer slim and attractive by the standards of the magazines. You're marrying the migraines and the hemorrhoids and the heart attack and the cancer; you're marrying the irritable, forgetful, lazy, thoughtless, sarcastic, distracted, too-busy days as well as the Kodak-happy ones.
You're marrying the one who works with you to raise the crippled child, or stands with you at the graveside of the child who dies. You're marrying the one who can't find work after the company folds or he's laid off; you're marrying the early Alzheimer's, the diabetes, the obesity, the pain of conflict and the struggle of forgiveness. The foundation of that isn't some ideal of romantic love. It's a commitment based on the goals you share. And real love, married love, is not what you start with--it's what you create together along the way.
--Orson Scott Card

Until We Meet Again

2011-02-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

Death hides, but it cannot divide.
Thou are but on Christ's other side.
Thou with Christ and Christ with me,
And so together still are we.

Rita Mcbride Schroeder
June 9, 1960-January 24, 2011

I love you, mom.

Yo Gabba Live

2010-12-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

My brother in law Scott is the co-creator of Yo Gabba Gabba (a freaky weird/amazing kids show on Nick Jr). They are doing a live tour right now, basically like a concert for kids. We got to go and it was soo fun! Watch this sweet video about the live show:

My cousin and her family came with us. Here is her cute blondie with my two crazies:

Gotta have some sweet kicks for such a cool show! Yo Gabba Vans!
We've got the Foofa ones.

This is her "I'm a teensy bit excited" face:

Thanks DJ Lance for letting us + friends come into your dressing room for
a personal meet and greet! It was aweome!

Yo Gabba rocks my world.

I like to take pictures

2010-12-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

So I've recently learned that I like to take pictures. A lot. And I got a really nice camera as a graduation present, and I've been loving it. And I'm thinking of maybe starting to do pictures here and there. Like for people. Who want pictures...

I think I could do it.

Maybe.

Soul Mates

2010-12-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

People think a soul mate is your perfect match, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
--Unknown

Heeeeyyyyyy

2010-12-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

Hey long lost internet friends!! It's been a while for me! I've tried to login to my blog(s) a few different times recently and have been locked out. Don't you worry, I figured out the mystery and now I'm back in business.

In other news, my mom has spent many weeks in and out of the hospital recently (that's her in that picture up there). She's not doing so well.

In other other news, I'm totally done with my Christmas shopping, happily married, and having a love affair with McDonald's cheeseburgers.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Sammy's Rexburg GRAND OPENING!!

2010-09-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all.

First of all I need to publicly announce my BIG, FAT APOLOGY to those of you who have emailed me in the last six months or so. I haven't even checked my Have Joy email since January-ish! A reader commented recently that she was sending me an email, so I decided I'd better go check it out. Turns out there are quite a few emails from readers that I just never responded to because I wasn't checking in regularly.

I AM SO SO SORRY.

Most of these emails talk about heartbreak and divorce and are from people seeking support. And most of the authors probably don't read this dumb blog anymore because I never responded to their emails!! haha. Sad. With the whole wedding, honeymoon, graduating from grad school, mom in the hospital with cancer situation I've had going on, I think most of you will understand why I've been slacking. But I'm feeling some guilt about leaving you guys hanging for so long. I am terribly sorry. Be on the lookout for an email from me in the next few days (like, after Sunday).

And the reason I won't be responding to any emails until next week is because...

drum roll please...

I'll be in rexburg....

attending...

SAMMY'S GRAND OPENING!!

Yay.

Some of you have mentioned to me that you saw my sweet Boy Wonder (well, his coolness burger joint) featured HERE on this really fun, happy, lots of people read it blog. Yay again.

Yes, I am now Mrs. Sammy's. Yes, I do officially have a burger named after me. It's the Oh Nikki You're So Fine Chicken goodness. mmmmm... I'll be eating lots of them this weekend.

I'd tell you all about how cool the opening will be, but this video can do it better. Watch it. Get excited. Tell your friends.

Here's to a weekend full of pie shakes and happiness.

Sweet Carol Joy

2010-09-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

Meet the beautiful Knapp sisters. My husband's cousins. The youngest daughter, 19 year old Carol Joy, passed away this week. Her death was completely unexpected. Carol Joy was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor when she was 9 years old, and has had difficulty walking and speaking since the surgery to remove the tumor. I have known the Knapp family for a little over a year now. And on more than one occasion my interactions with Carol Joy have left me teary eyed and overcome with the spirit. She touched my life and probably wasn't even aware of the impact she had on me. I am so saddened for the Knapp family's loss, and thankful for their knowledge (as well as mine) that they will be reunited with their sweet sister again.

Click HERE to read my sister-in-law's tribute to Carol Joy, and for an opportunity to donate to the funeral services.

Brain Cells

2010-08-30T09:43:00.001-07:00

Question: How many times in the last 5 months has Nikki shattered the screen on her iPhone?

Answer: Two.

Which also happens to be the amount of brain cells Nikki is working with lately.

Self Esteem

2010-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

I can do anything good. Better than anyone. Yes I can.

Quote

2010-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

One of my roommates from college/BFFs sent me this quote by CS Lewis which I found quite thought provoking. What do you think?

All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

Bugalicious

2010-06-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

And the quote of the day from my 5 year old (known to the blog world as Bug):

"Uuuugh. I wish I could just marry pigs. Because I love their beef."

Words of wisdom, my friends.

Craaaaaaaap

2010-06-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here is my sad little iPhone:

He probably has a terrible headache. And until I have glass shards in my ear, I will be true and keep using him. A bit of a bloody ear never hurt anybody.

My Sunday

2010-06-28T07:00:00.001-07:00

So I didn't have the greatest day yesterday. Well, that's not true. It was a good turned not so good day. Early morning with the kids so we can BE AT CHURCH at 8:30 in the morning. That's right.

And it's always fun when you get there there perfectly on time (definitely a challenge when I live a solid 15 minutes away...oh, and did I mention it's at 8:30? Right), and then attempt to get out of the car when 3 year old sweetness refuses to put on her church shoes. She absolutely must wear her red Snow White heels. Naturally.

If we were going to Wal-Mart, or Target, or Ross, or any of the other obviously high end stores I frequent, then I would just let her wear them. Yes I'm the mom with two scraggly kids wandering behind me in dirty, ripped princess dresses, hair all askew, high heeled play shoes clunking along, and hot pink lipstick on their faces. Oh, and big fat smiles and happy hearts. :) But to church? I've gotta draw the line. Smiles and happiness are not allowed at church.

So I tell her she has to put her church shoes on. At which point she has a complete meltdown. So I carry her (kicking and screaming) to the front door of the church. Then realize I can't take her inside like this. When she does this I take her OUT. So we sat outside. For a solid 15 minutes.

Stubborn females run in the family.

Finally gave in. Yay.

Then I taught a lesson on Christlike Communication in Young Womens. That was fun. One of the leaders told me she wanted me to teach a combined marital communication class to all the adult men and women. hahahahahaha. Yeah. Me and my failed marriage history will teach a lesson on marriage to all the happily married couples. Probably not gonna happen.

Anyway, hung out with the kidlets--popcorn and Little Mermaid, painting fairy lands, reading books. Some drama in Adult Land, which I hate. Then I dropped them off. And thought about how much I hate dropping them off.

And I miss my man.

And wow it feels good to write again. Why did I stop doing this?

Summer Walks

2010-06-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that I am loving my new camera?

Little Laugh

2010-06-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Question: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Answer: Anyone can roast beef.

hahahahahah. Have a great Thursday!

Photo Shoot

2010-06-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

I tagged along on a photo shoot with my neighbors, and snagged this awesome picture. I think I am liking this whole photography thing!! Anyone want to model for me so I can practice??

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

(My dad and dad-in-law)

I know I'm a day late, but I needed to do a quick post to tell the fathers in my life how much I love and appreciate them.

First of all, my dad, who has always been such an example to me and instilled in me a testimony of the gospel. My dad has been quietly serving his children his entire life.

Second, my husband's dad, who has been such an example of what a righteous husband and father should be.

And lastly, my husband. He is a blessing to me, and I am thankful every day that he is in my life.

Hope you all had a great day!!

P.S. I am loving my new camera, and I've got some pictures I want to post! So in a perfect world I'll be updating this blog more regularly. Coming soon. :)

Happy Birthday BurRITA

2010-06-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my wonderful, fabulous, amazing mother. She has had a rough (understatement) couple of years. Cancer survivor (two different kinds), back problems, nerve problems, gut problems, sleep problems. I don't think she's slept a solid 4 hours in at least a year. Maybe more. I am so thankful for her, and pray daily that her physical burdens will be lifted. I miss her.

N. Eldon Tanner stated:

A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress affect the lives of her children and the whole family. It is while the child is in the home that he gains from his mother the contribution he will make to society.

I am so thankful for my amazing mom who continues to teach me strength, patience, and instilled in me a testimony of the gospel. I LOVE YOU MOM!!

Happy 29th Birthday...

Graduated!

2010-06-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

I graduated on Friday! Yaaahooooo!! I had a house full of family who came to celebrate with me. Special thanks to Boy Wonder's parents who flew in Friday morning and then flew home Friday night, just so they could be there during my ceremony. That meant a lot to me.

My parents and grandparents united to give me a sweet camera as a graduation gift. It's the new Canon Rebel T1i. I am loving it!! Been wanting a nice camera for a while, and my husband is jealous that my camera is my new boyfriend. :)

Stay tuned for some fun pictures as I learn how to use this thing!!

I did it again

2010-05-29T16:39:00.001-07:00

Cut. Short. Love.

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Angry, Emotional Rant

2010-04-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

As the title of this post implies, I am not a happy girl at the moment. People who REFUSE to take responsibility for their actions abso-freaking-lutely just piss me right off. I cannot express how infuriating it is to have a conversation with someone who continually blames other people for everything, even in the face of explicit evidence to the contrary.

I find myself thinking, "ARE YOU FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET??! HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU POSSIBLY UTTERING THOSE WORDS RIGHT NOW?! THERE IS NO WAY YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE YOUR RIDICULOUS PRATTLE, IS THERE??"

Yes. Yes there is. Turns out this person does believe his/her ridiculous prattle. ::sigh:: Then the therapist side of me takes over, and I find myself thinking, is there any truth to this ridiculous prattle? Is there something I'm not seeing? Put yourself in his/her shoes, Nikki. Let's try to understand why this person thinks this way.

The only problem with that is that I'm not this person's therapist. And I end up getting taken advantage of because Ridiculous Prattle Person doesn't bother to consider the same things on my behalf. And I find myself continually disappointed and hurt. Not a fun place to be.

Suck it up, Nikki. Deep breath. And remember it's not your responsibility to convince Ridiculous Prattle Person of anything. You be responsible for yourself and your own actions. You know the truth. Stay true to that. All things shall be for your good.

Project

2010-03-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm potty training my cat. Like, to do his business in the toilet. Like a real man. I'll keep you posted on the P&PP (pee and poo progress).

And I still like my hair. Love might just be a better adjective. Or adverb. Or whatever part of the english language that is.

Gone and done it

2010-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

After a lot of this:

And a little of this:

I ended up like this:

And I'm loving it!!! More pictures and an emotional update to follow after it's sunk in a bit more. So far, no regrets. Thanks to everyone who gave advice! Wohoooo short hair!!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I have a craving

2010-03-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

To cut my hair. Short. Really short. Like vicoria beckham style. Or around-there-abouts.

That would mean chopping about 12-15 inches I'm guessing.

What do you think, blog world? Will I hate myself for doing it?!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Our Featured Wedding

2010-03-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently our wedding was featured on a couple of random wedding/magazine blogs. I've had friends tell me they ran across a few of our pictures, and I had no idea! Here are the couple links, in case you're interested. :)

Eliza Magazine

Rock n Roll Bride

Fun!!

And married life is fabulous. School is stressful. Clients take up tons of time. And I'm running on very low energy. But I'm happy. Oh, and had a birthday yesterday. Sorry to everyone who used to enjoy this blog! At some point in the near future I will be back to regularly blogging. Stay tuned.

New Sisters

2010-02-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

One of only a few snapshots I have of the wedding. Bug and Mo. New sisters. And absolutely loving it, if you can't tell. :)

This picture makes me happy. As does the fact that I'm flying far away from my life today to spend Valentine's weekend with my husband! WAHOOOOO!!!

Also, my cat drinks out of the toilet. Is that weird? I have strategically placed bowls of fresh, clean water all around my house in order to convince him that drinking from a bowl is much more convenient (not to mention sanitary) than crawling his little self halfway into the toilet for a quick thirst quench. And yet, I still catch his little cat bum poised high in the air while his head is licking the up the (apparently) yummy toilet water. Actually, writing about it gives me this insane craving for sparkling cold water from the commode. Straight out of the crapper. I think I'll go have a lick.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

With love,
Toilet Breath

Hairy

2010-02-03T11:29:00.001-08:00

Quote of the day, courtesy of my 4 year old:

"This morning Dexter (our kitten) was licking me. So I just licked him back."

Of course you did, child. :)

What up

2010-01-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dear World O' Bloggers,

Remember when this blog used to be cool? And entertaining? And interesting?

Yeah, that was pretty fun.

I've been starting to feel the bloggy itch again lately. Maybe its reconnecting with some of you long lost commenter friends since I posted my video a couple days ago (how amazing is that, by the way?! Thanks for all the love...).

Anyway, I may or may not start blogging periodically again. I'm thinking {maybe} two or three times a week? Yes?

I know I've been MIA for a while, so here's the brief update on my life at the moment:
-Got married (no big deal).
-Started school again (boo).
-Completely overbooked myself with clients, who continue to amaze/inspire/scare me.
-Got a cat (please don't ask me why. I do not have an acceptable answer).

Anyway, I've got lots to blog about. The most interesting of which may be my wedding and adjusting back to life with a male. The least interesting of which may be my new monkey slippers. That my feet adore. But that's all I really have to say about them.

And with that, I'll leave you with a deep thought by Jack Handy:
To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "sorry, got these sacks."

Happy Friday. :)

I got married!

2010-01-26T09:22:00.000-08:00

Here's the mini version of our wedding day/love story. Enjoy!!

Nikki+Sam from Shade Tree Films on Vimeo.

P.S. I am absolutely LOVING being married again. Yay for not being alone anymore!

Wedding Countdown

2010-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Remember that one time I was getting married in 12 days?!?!?!?!?!

ahslksadjfao;iejfewoijfewoifj;aljketoijg;aoijfo;eijfawlejf;eoijfe;oIJ:Oj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am beyond happy. I am ecstatic.

Remember Me?

2009-11-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hey friends!! Do you miss me?! I have to say I miss my daily blogging routine a little bit. But I'm LOVING having some space and time away from it.

Boy Wonder and I are still on the fast track to getting married, although the date is still being decided on thanks to loads of paperwork and other poo that comes along with being divorced and remarried in Mormon Land. Keeping our fingers crossed for January. For the love of all that is holy let it be january...

The reason for this post is to share some pictures from our engagement shoot!! Boy Wonder's cousin Amelia Lyon did them for us, and they are absolutely amazing. Boy Wonder likes to say they're "A-melia-azing," which I thought was not funny but waaaay cheesy enough to republish on this blog. haha. I give sole credit to him. :)

I'm posting a few on here, but I literally could have posted all of them. I love them all. LOVE. Now if only I had enough walls in my house to hang all of them!! Maybe I could dangle them from the ceiling in the middle of my family room with fishing wire...sort of the floating picture look. Totally in right now. :)

Let me know what you think!! And see the rest of the photos here.

(*P.S. sorry about the comment moderation. I had a little incident with an anonymous commenter who was copying and pasting the same nasty comment onto all of my posts, so I had to regulate. **It was a clear black night, a clear white moon, Warren G was on the street, trying to consume...continue as you wish with old 90's rap songs** Sorry if that bursts all you nice anonymous's bubbles.)

Back to happy thoughts about cute pictures and cute kids and hot fiances who also happen to be truly truly amazing people.

Break Time

2009-11-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Internet not working. Boo. This is when I'm especially thankful that I have Internet and blogging capabilities on my phone.

Found out that I have two impacted wisdom teeth. That's pretty stellar news.

So tired lately. Like more than usual. Even when I'm sleeping enough. My hair is falling out practically in clumps. I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. Pretty sure something is wrong. I'm going to the doctor on Thursday to have some tests done. Bleh.

I'm also going to take a little break from blogging. I'm really sad about that because it's become such a way of healing and connecting for me. But I am very near the point of losing my mind, and knowing a bunch of people expect me to come up with something clever or funny or insightful every day has been adding to my stress. Especially because I'm not feeling particularly clever or funny or insightful lately.

So. That's that. I'm going to still try to update at least once a week. And maybe more if I'm feeling up to it. And hopefully I'll be back to the every day kind of blogging very soon. Assuming I don't keel over from stress first. Or get struck by lightning.

Never underestimate lightning.

-- Post From My iPhone

And the Winner Is...

2009-10-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

My beautiful sister Brooke!!

Honestly, I almost had it re-pick a name because I almost don't feel like it's fair for my sister to get it. But then I think it's not fair for her to not get it just because she's my sister. She posted this on her blog just like everyone else and the all-knowing random.org machine picked her name out of the list.

And I had a flashback of times when my mom would teach music in primary or in my class at school (she did that a lot), and she would never pick me for anything because I was her daughter, and I remember thinking that was so unfair. So, I'm sticking to the random picker choicer chooser choice!!

WOHOOO BROOKE!! Email Kristina at californiacaramelco at gmail dot com.
She follows this blog so she'll know you're the winner, and she'll be expecting your email. Tell her you won the Have Joy give away, and send her your address, and she'll mail those beautiful apples to Utah! Mmm...mmm...

Thanks to all of you who entered! Stay tuned for future give aways...I've got a couple really cute ones coming up in the near future.

And I'll send you off with Bug's favorite joke right now:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Papa
Papa who?
Paparazzi!!

haha. To be reminded why that is so funny, click HERE.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Q&A: No Sexy Please

2009-10-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

I got this email from an anonymous email account last week, and thought it would make a great Q&A. **Warning: This post contains sexual content. Read at your own risk.**

Q: So my sex drive is pretty much not great. I am just tired at the end of the day & nothing sounds better than sleep when I crawl into bed. But my husband wants more than sleep, he wants action. When I'm not in the mood, often he gets really irritated & thinks I'm not attracted to him & this attitude lasts until we "do it" (usually a couple days).
I know that as soon as we get intimate, he'll shake it off & be cool with me again. But it is hard to want to get intimate with him when he's mad at me, ya know? It's a horrible cycle. But one we always fall into. It makes me want to just say "fine, lets do it" even when I have no desire, but I HATE doing it when I don't really want to & he doesn't want that either. So do you have any tips that will help me have more of a desire to do the deed? Please help me here. When he's "satisfied" (that sounds sleazy) he's a better husband and dad. But, I just don't feel like satisfying him as often as he'd like. What to do, what to do?
Am I the only person who doesn't want sex multiple times per week? I hope I'm not alone, but it sure feels like I am.

A: First of all, thank you so much for this question. I really think that a lot of women struggle with this, especially women with young children at home. Here are my thoughts in bullet points:

By some cruel trick, men and women are created differently. Not only in our need for sex, but in what sex means to us. Women want to feel close and emotionally connected BEFORE getting down. Men, on the other hand, feel close and emotionally connected AFTER doing the deed. Therefore, the less sex you have, the less close your husband will feel to you. That's just the way it is. You mentioned that he is a better husband and father when he is satisfied, and that is because he's feeling emotionally connected to you, which makes him more inclined to help out. So, the way you feel when your hubby does the dishes for you, is similar to how he feels when you make love to him. Maybe that will help you want to do the deed more often if you look at it that way.
There is a physical component to it, in that men have a build up of semen that continues to build until they can release it. It actually becomes physically uncomfortable if he can't release that on a regular basis. So more than him just being needy and selfish and wanting sex, he actually has a physical need...and if you're in a committed, religious relationship, then you're the only one who can fill that need.
Can I ask you a personal question? Are you able to have an orgasm? How often? If you are not physically satisfied during sex, that will definitely make you not want to do it as often.
Wow I have so much to say about this! I have to pick and choose so this doesn't get waaaay too long...
Is there another time of day (besides super late when you're completely exhausted) that you could have a little mmm mmmm with your hubby? I am a huge fan of scheduling sex. That's right. SCHEDULE it. Sounds really unromantic, but it can actually be really fun. Say Wednesday night at 8:00 (older kids are at mutual, younger kids are in bed). All day you know it's Sex Day...maybe you shave your legs in the shower. Maybe hubby sends you a sweet note or brings home dinner or something. You end up anticipating it during the day, and it could be really fun. That might not work for everyone, but it's worth a shot.
Have you ever talked to your husband about what his ideal number of times per week is? What is yours? If you sit down and talk about it, maybe you can come up with a compromise schedule, so that he doesn't feel like he has to beg to get his needs met, and you don't feel like he'll be pestering you every night, ya know? Just a thought.

Ok, I'm going to stop now. I have so much more to say. And I still need to share some of the sex facts I learned in my sex therapy class. Maybe I'll start doing a Sex Facts Day on this blog. Thoughts? Maybe every Wednesday or something I'll do a post about some sort of sex topic. Would anyone out there be interested in that?

Leave your thoughts to this anonymous reader about her predicament. And reader, was any of what I wrote helpful to you? I'm feeling like I just blabbed and didn't really give you what you were looking for.

Also, tonight is the last night of the California Caramel Company Give Away!! Not many people have entered, because I limited entries to those who have blogs (sorry), so your chances are really good!!

Sparkle and Chewer Man

2009-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Went to Mcdonald's last night with the kiddos and The Boy.

There was only one man in there with his five year old little girl, and after about 20 minutes Boy Wonder leaned over to me and said, "That man has been chewing for the last 20 minutes, but there is no food on the table! What is he chewing?"

Sure enough, the dude had a huge wad of something in his cheek and he literally chewed the entire time we were there. He never spit, so I'm assuming it wasn't actually Chew (as in tobacco). And if it was gum it was A LOT of gum. About every 5 minutes or so, Boy would lean over and say, "What is he chewing?!" Boy was not trying to be funny. He was actually quite disturbed. The mystery chewer man was apparently pretty distracting to Boy.

Have I mentioned lately that I really love him? Boy. Not Weird Chewer Man. I feel very lucky that he came into my life.

Anyway, Bug was playing with Chewer Man's five year old, and when she came down for a water break I asked her what her new friend's name was.

Bug: Her name is Sparkle.
Me: Umm...her name is Sparkle? (who named her, my four year old?)
Bug: Yeah. Sparkle. Or diamond or something.

Then she ran off to play. Ok, have fun with Sparkle or Diamond or whoever. Chewer Man obviously had a child with Hippie Woman. They sound like a brilliant couple.

Few minutes later, Bug came back to clarify. Turns out friend's name is CRYSTAL. hahahahaha. Oh the mind of a four year old works in magical ways.

Tune in tomorrow for a sexy Q&A that a reader sent in to me. I actually think this is a subject that many of you will relate to, and those of you who don't will have some feelings about it.

Peace out lovers. Go chew on something for a while.

Bigger is Better

2009-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Went to a pumpkin patch on Saturday that has a little petting zoo...though there was nothing very little about these two hogs:

Seriously.

-- Post From My iPhone

Post Secret

2009-10-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a cool little thought to start off your week:

I'm reminded of a quote I used in THIS POST about marriage that said,
"An attorney that handles a number of divorce cases [said] that the number one reason two people split up is that they refuse to accept the fact that they are married to a human being."

Love that thought. A lot. On the dot. In a pot.

Give Away: California Caramel Company

2009-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am really excited to do this give away from the California Caramel Company!! The owner, Kristina, is a friend of mine, and she writes the following about her sweet company:

"My beautiful 7 year old daughter and I started this business in the kitchen together, making sweet gifts for teachers, family and friends. It has since grown into a magnificant company where people all over the country have come to love our products. Our caramel is handcrafted from scratch, batch by batch, using only the finest ingredients making our caramel "all natural" and preservative free. It has been said that the California Caramel Company simply makes the best caramel on earth and we think you would agree! We take pride in making everything fresh to order and personalized for that extra touch. We are so grateful to all those who support us in our endevours in making the California Caramel Company a huge SWEET success!"

The California Caramel Company is giving the winner of this give away their Deluxe Apple Gift Box. Mmmm, mmmm.... Caramel apples are one of my favorite fall treats! This beautiful gift comes in an adorable box with two (yummy yummy) gourmet dipped apples, complete with free local or nationwide delivery!

To enter, please write a post on your blog about this give away, and leave me a comment. That way, I will for sure enter you into the contest and can come check out your blog post about us! This give away will close at 9:59 pm PST, on Thursday October 29th.

Happy Friday, everyone!! Think happy thoughts about caramel apples!! :)

Creation

2009-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I feel like I'm just sort of coming into myself and I'm 28 years old? I feel like I'm discovering who I am, little pieces at a time. I like it.

I'm also feeling all kinds of emotions around getting married again, and what it means to move on, and what my life will look like in a year from now.

I can't wait to be done with school. Caaaan't wait.

And relationships are complicated. In some ways it's so much easier to be alone and selfish. What? I have to think about someone else's feelings? Wow, I haven't had to do that in years. Bit of an adjustment. But a good one.

I'll leave you with a thought from Post Secret:

Here's to creating some happiness today...

-- Post From My iPhone

Paparazzi

2009-10-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

Oh the joy this brings me. Bug is obsessed with this song at the moment. She is completely overcome with really weird dance moves and dramatic facial expressions every time it comes on the radio. Enjoy.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

P.S. I'm doing a giveaway this Friday! Make sure you come check it out. It's an especially yummy one. :)

Unsolvable Problems

2009-10-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

In my couple's therapy class last week some classmates gave a presentation on some research, and gave a quote that I loved. Please read below:

"There is value, in choosing a long term partner, in realizing that you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you'll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or fifty years..." --Wiles, 1998

I love this quote. I think so many times when we get married we're looking for the perfect match. For me, it helps to recognize that no matter who I end up marrying, there will be problems and conflicts that are unavoidable. With Partner A it might be one set of problems. With Partner B it will be a different set of problems. The trick is deciding which set of problems we'd like to put up with for the rest of our lives.

:)

It feels good to realize that no relationship is perfect, and that I don't have to look for that or be that. I just have to try to improve myself. Which will be a lifelong process for sure.

By the way, Amanda from Beautiful Blog Designs featured Have Joy on her website! She features blogs she likes to look at. To see the post, click HERE.

Thanks, Amanda!!

A Few Pictures

2009-10-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Pictures from this weekend:

Sisters! We missed Brooke, though. :(

Me and Boy
High School Reunion Night
(P.S. Thanks to Boy's sister, Heather, for making me up this night!!
Hot hair and makeup. Yeesss. Thank you thank you)

Me & Boy
Boy's best friend & best friend's wife
(It's a sweater vest, not a cardigan)
Oh, and please note my long sleeves. This would be
day 5 of Project Grow Your Armpit Hair. Yeeeaaahhh...

Boy Wonder's family put on a little Happy Engagement BBQ for us.
Thanks to Ben and Katie (Katy? not sure) for letting us invade your house!
Mom, Dad, Waggles, Shmae (holding Bug), Me (holding Bear), Boy Wonder (holding his daughter, who shall be known to the blog world as Mo)

One more day to my WAXING. Wow I'm excited. And terrified. But mostly excited. Think of me tomorrow at 5:15. I'll definitely give you all the play by play. Maybe I'll audio tape my reaction or something. haha. :)

Don't mask and dance at the same time.

2009-10-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

This video starts out unbelievably frightening (which has nothing to do with the freaky clown mask, by the way). Ends up pretty darn funny. hahahaha. ::sigh of contentment::

Yup. Still funny.

Toilet Seat Dilemma

2009-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

I encounter a difficulty every time I use a public restroom.

I go into the stall. I pull out the toilet seat cover. I place it gently on the seat. I then proceed to unbutton my pants and pull them down, during which time the toilet seat cover falls into the toilet. And that's it. That's the dilemma. Toilet seat cover is in the toilet and I haven't sat on it yet. Annoying.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? Is there a secret to putting the seat cover on the toilet so it doesn't fall into the water? I find myself pre-unbuttoning my pants, and doing what I call the Speedy Place and Sit Maneuver.

Random. I know this. My buns just want to be clean. Well, as clean as buns can be.

P.S. This weekend was really fun. I'll post a picture or two at some point.

Monday Quote

2009-10-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love this quote. I think it's the everyday kinds of courage that most often get overlooked. Which is too bad, because the everyday kinds of courage are most often what save us.

San Diego Here We Come...

2009-10-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Random picture from the night we got engaged. Which reminds me that I haven't posted the story on here yet! Wow. I really am a slacker. And if you're wondering where the restroom is, it's to the right. That picture was taken in the mirror.

I'm pretty excited about this weekend--headed to Southern California. Me, Boy Wonder, and all three of our crazy kids. All of a sudden we are a family of five. Does that boggle anyone else's mind?!? Because mine is pretty boggled. Not to be confused with bedazzled. Or begoggled.

On the agenda are the following:

--Stop at Boy Wonder's sister's house and spend the night tonight. (Who, incidentally, mailed me a really sweet note telling me how excited she was that me and Boy found each other. If Boy wasn't so darn cool I'd be tempted to marry him just for his family. They really are that amazing.)
--Boy Wonder's 10 year high school reunion. Old, chubby, drunk high school friends. Oh the joys to be had.
--Grandma and Grandpa's house. Complete with 2 of my 3 sisters (we'll miss the boogster), crazy grandparents on California Cruisers (see HERE for a reminder) and Tucker, my parents' faithful dog and/or the son my dad never had.
--Break up at least a few of the tantrums and fights that are sure to erupt.
--Let a few of the tantrums and fights run their due course. Just for fun.
--Engagement pictures with the fam. We found the CUTEST outfits for the girls, by the way. Not so in love with what I'm wearing, but it'll do. At least our kids will look cute. :) Once you become a mom it's pretty much all about them anyway. I'm used to it. :) And Boy will look hot.
--Put off writing a big paper that's due on Wednesday. I've been so good at that lately. Pat yourself on the back, Nikki. You're a deadbeat student. Be proud.
--Happy Engagement Party slash Family BBQ at Boy's brother's house with both our families. Lots of crazy to be had, I'm sure.
--Leave WAAAAAYYY TOOOOOO EAAAAAARRRRRLLLYYYYY on Monday morning so I can be back in time for class that night. bleh.

I'm excited. And tired just thinking about it. It will be a whirlwind trip full of crazy.

Have a great weekend everyone!! Here's to my cramping uterus and unbridled emotions...

Apology

2009-10-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggy world.

Sorry for the late blog this morning. I have been so completely overwhelmed lately. And by the end of the day I am exhausted and overwhelmed, and thinking of the trillion things I didn't get done. My bedtime routine (which includes blogging for the next day) hasn't quite been a ROUTINE lately.

My day yesterday consisted of a meltdown in the morning. Lucky Boy Wonder got to witness that one. He was probably thinking "what the heezy am I getting myself into?!?" Then I got a phone call from the Ex saying he was sick and couldn't take the girls today. Normally this would be a great thing so I could spend more time with them, but I had clients AND class last night and wouldn't be getting home until 10. I decided to find a sitter while I was at work and then ditch class to spend time with the girls.

We were eating lunch, and Bear said, "Tummy hurts." Poor little thing. She then proceeded to throw up all over me, all over my floor, and all over herself. So I canceled my clients and stayed home all afternoon with them, and we put up Halloween decorations, and just had some good time together. And it felt so good. And I just want to freaking be with them all the time.

Wow I've been complaining a lot lately haven't I? How about I think of a few things I'm thankful for as a pick me up:

1. Boy Wonder--for so many reasons.
2. Two healthy, happy, beautiful kids.
3. The opportunity to be in a Master's program, even though it's pretty killer hard.
4. My good friends and neighbors.
5. A car that runs.
6. My phone. Can't live without it.
7. I love the way Bear talks right now. She can't say her r's, which makes everything she says just so cute. And this morning Boy was leaving to go to the airport, and Bug was sad. Bear looked at her and said, "I know, baby." haha. So cute.

Ok. Gotta run. Dropping my kids off. Then going to work alllll day.

P.S. I think I maybe might have possibly found my dress!! But it's only online, and I'd have to order it online, and I can't try it on first and that makes me nervous.

P.S. again--second week in a row that I bailed on the Q&A. I've got a few good questions that readers have emailed to me, too. Sorry for slacking!! I'm trying to keep myself out of the asylum.

:)

Mid week

2009-10-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

I miss my kids. A lot. They are growing up, and changing, and I feel like I'm missing it. I

Probably I feel like I'm missing it because I am missing it.

Eight more months. My life is going to look so different eight months from now. If I make it that far. :)

I'm in denial about wedding plans. I've just got so much other crud on my mind... I sort of wish I could be planning this wedding when I had the time to actually focus on it, ya know? Oh well. That's all just details that don't really matter. And that was a terrible sentence.

And I love my bed. And sometimes I wish I never ever ever had to get out of it.

And I wish I could drink chocolate milk and eat donuts all the time.

Mmmmmmmm....

-- Post From My iPhone

I have a wife.

2009-10-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

So I had class last night, and while I was gone Boy Wonder went to the grocery store for me.

I came home to the fridge stocked with food, and him sitting on the couch, reading People magazine, eating chocolate, and watching Oprah. Not kidding. Not even one little bit.

hahahahahahahahahaha!

I told him how funny I thought it was that he's my wife at the moment. He laughed when I pointed out all the wifey duties he'd completed for me while I was at school, complete with chocolate, trashy gossip magazines, and Oprah.

Then we both got a pretty good laugh when he confessed that after he went to the grocery store he also went tanning.

hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Man I love that boy. :)

I do have to say that it's pretty nice having a wife. It might be just a smidge difficult for me to adjust back to being one rather than having one.

I am really happy with where my life is headed at the moment. It feels good to be in a relationship again, though I've been in control of my own life and my own everything for so long that it's been (and will continue to be) a bit of an adjustment to actually get used to being a partner again. But I love it. And I'm lucky that Boy is patient with me through all the little power struggles I engage him in.

We even fought over the remote control last night.

Ahhh, the good life. :)

Chickened Out

2009-10-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Just for all of you who have been losing sleep all weekend wondering whether I took the plunge with the whole waxing dilemma...I didn't. At least not yet.

One reader (I think it was Arica) said "I'm all for the end result, but why not try other things first?" or something like that. I like that thought. My best friend from high school texted me and raved about how much she LOVES waxing...well maybe not the actual waxing so much as the end result. She also told me that she gets her armpits waxed!! Glory Hallelujah! And that she only has to do it every 3 weeks, and doesn't have to shave every day!! I was so excited by that thought that I'm using way too many exclamation points!!!!! Inspiring. Seriously. So I'm seriously considering still doing it...but I'm going to think it out a little bit.

Anyway, had a beautiful day yesterday. Relaxing. Lazy. Perfect. I really wish I had more of those.

Here's your inspirational thought for the day:

Insanity is normal.

Don't I know that all too well. :)

Here's to armpit hair. Later.

Thoughts about nothing

2009-10-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Random things Nikki is thinking about today:

Want to say thanks to all the bloggers out there who left me some love after my poopy post yesterday. I definitely had a breakdown about 5 minutes after I wrote that post. Feeling better today though.
Thankful that The Boy is here. Yes please.
Nervous about presenting at the conference tonight.
I need to find outfits for me, Boy, and all three girlies to wear for our engagement pictures (yes, we're including our crazy kids). Shopping! Fun.
I'm engaged. What the heezy.
I have a presentation in my couples therapy class on Monday. Haven't really started. Yikes.
Yay for conference this weekend! (The LDS conference, not my research conference :).
I miss my kids.
I am so totally sleeping in tomorrow. Like for real.
I'm thinking about getting waxed. You know...down there. Too much information? YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO READ THIS BLOG IF YOU DON'T WANT WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT NIKKI!! haha. Anyway, I've never waxed anything--eyebrows, chest hair, nada. Anyone out there done that? Tell me about it. NOW. thanks.
I love See's chocolate.
I also love massages.
Boy and I have settled on a theme and color scheme for our party. SO FUN. woot.
When did it become OCTOBER? Wow. I am loving the cooler weather.
Gotta run to work. I am so glad it's Friday. I need a break. From life. haha. Unfortunately that's not really an option. Yay for sleeping in tomorrow. Peace out blog world.

Can't do it

2009-10-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am so overwhelmed with school and clients and life right now. Big conference is this weekend. I'm presenting my sex research there. I'll post the results here sometime if I ever figure out a way to balance my life.

Friends need me. My fiancé needs me. My kids need me. School needs me. Work needs me. I need me. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Uuuugggjhhh.

I have taken on way more than I'm capable of. Breakdown is imminent.

-- Post From My iPhone

The Bling

2009-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who wanted to see the ring, here ya go!! No solitaire diamond. I freaking l.o.v.e this thing. Almost as much as I love Boy Wonder. :) This ring is exactly what I wanted--nontraditional, unique, and I think it just screams my name. Perfect. The bottom picture was taken with my iPhone, sorry about the poor quality. WOHOO!! Happy.

So let's see... I had requests for pictures of the ring, and for sex talk. haha. Yeeessss. Anything specific? Q&A is tomorrow and I haven't picked a topic, yet. So if you have a specific question, email it to me or leave it as an anonymous comment...I just might pick yours. :)

And now enjoy staring at the sparkly goodness that is my ring. I know I do. :)

Blog-o-drama

2009-09-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

So in case you haven't noticed, there's been a bit of drama on this blog since I announced my engagement. To see where it began, click here. I feel like I need to respond.

First of all, I encourage people commenting, even if their opinion is different from mine. That's part of why I do Q&A's--to get a discussion going. It's intellectually stimulating and helps open my (and hopefully others') eyes to new points of view. I just ask that you state your difference of opinion respectfully and not attack me personally or any of the other commenting folk.

So, while I appreciate that people believe differently, and view things differently, and I usually encourage a difference of opinion, this whole engagement thing was not necessarily one of those times. I'm not asking the general blog public if I should get engaged. This was an intensely personal decision that I made quietly. Once I made the decision, I announced it to the world, because I am happy, and excited, and at peace with it. Do with that what you will.

If you believe I am shirking my responsibilities as a parent, you are entitled to that belief. I vehemently disagree with you, though I respect your right to hold your own opinion. I must say that I find it cowardly to anonymously spew it at me the way you did. If you really cared about me and my children, and truly believed I was making a bad decision, I would expect you to email me or call me or contact me privately in some way in order to have a real, honest, heart to heart about your feelings and my choices. It seems to me that that's what a true friend would do.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

I want to say thank you to those of you who stood up for me. I genuinely appreciate it. A lot. I do think that it's possible to stand up for me without attacking my ex, and I know that emotions sometimes make that difficult. If you have spent any time reading this blog you'll notice that I am very careful to be respectful to my kids' dad, and to appreciate the role he plays in my life. I have not shared details of our divorce, nor will I. I am at peace with myself and with my Heavenly Father, and I don't need to convince anyone else that I made the right choice. This blog is about healing. Not about taking sides. Though I do hope that whoever it was that attacked me learned that I've got a few supporters out there. :) Don't mess with me!

So let's see...it went from Nikki's Engaged!! To attack Nikki, attack Nikki's ex, attack Boy Wonder, and even attack Boy Wonder's ex.

I love the discussion. I love the debate. I love the differences of opinion. And I am convinced that there is a way to do that without lashing out. Can we try it? I promise I will.

And for the record, I am unbelievably excited to marry Boy Wonder! I love him. I can't wait to blend my life with his.

And that, my friends, is one portion of this blog that is not up for debate. :)

Priority

2009-09-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I can think of more than one relationship I've been in where this was the case. What is it in us that allows us to settle? Something to think about...

No idea who said it. I stole it from my friend's facebook status (thanks Cathi and Kate. Hey, did you guys know you have different versions of the same name? Impressive).

Anyway, I love being someone's priority at the moment. Feels really good. I haven't been high on anyone's priority list for a while and I'm happy to say that I'm closing that chapter in my Life Book. Hopefully forever. :)

And how about I post a picture of the ring tomorrow? I've had a few requests for that. Oh, and thanks to everyone who has been sending me links and pictures to wedding dresses and veils and stuff! I'm loving all the help and I'm totally looking at each one you send me. THANK YOU!! Keep em coming!!

Happy Monday. :)

Wow

2009-09-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tired. Another long day ahead. Another 5 hours of sex therapy class. And then early to bed for me tonight!

Had a little engagement party last night. Yay.

Also had some cool ideas for our wedding...more to come on that.

And holy blog drama! Wow. That's all I'm going to say, even though I've got slightly more than that begging to come out.

Anyone know of any cool places for wedding dresses? I want something cool and vintage and maybe a bit untraditional. Maybe with a half veil that covers the eyes... Know what I'm talking about? Or a cool hair piece. Send me pictures of wedding dresses!! I need help.

Thanks lovers. And just for the record, I really really absolutely love my daughters. And I'm very glad for them that we are moving out of the crazy survivor mode that we've been in for so long. They deserve it. :)

-- Post From My iPhone

Q&A: Heal From Divorce

2009-09-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had a great question sent to me a bit ago and I scheduled it for today...little did I know how applicable it would be in the midst of all this blog controversy that is going on at the moment. :)

This reader said:

I was just reading Mere Christianity and the chapter on Christian Marriage is really amazing!! C.S. Lewis reminds us of what we already know when he says that a man and woman who are in marriage are a single organism, "one flesh." He says it is a fact, not a sentiment, like a violin and bow or lock & key. He also says although different churches have different views about divorce they, "are all agreed that it is more like having both your legs cut off than it is like dissolving a business partnership or even deserting a regiment."

How do you feel someone truly recovers from divorce? Do you agree with what C.S. Lewis said?

A: First of all, let me say that this book is on my list of books to read. I've read bits and pieces, but not the whole thing. Secondly, I do agree with what he said. I think that if you are truly attached to your spouse (the way you should be), that getting divorced is very much like getting both of your legs cut off. With a butter knife. haha.

Divorce rips away the foundation of someone's life. Even if it's the best, most perfect divorce there ever was. You (probably) don't get married to someone unless you've formed some type of attachment and connection to them, and to have that ripped away, even voluntarily, is innately traumatic.

So, how does one recover from that? I have no blasted idea!! I'm pretty sure I'll be working on that one for a loooong time. In fact, I think the biggest thing is time. For me, the next biggest thing was a belief in a higher power, and faith that I had made the right decision. That's honestly what got me through the months of crying myself to sleep and feeling more alone than I'd ever felt in my life.

And you know what the kicker was for me? Being in another relationship. A healthy one. I firmly believe that when you go through a divorce, there is only so much healing you can do by yourself. In order to fully heal, you must be in a relationship...because the wounds that were inflicted were created while in a relationship. I could try to heal myself all I wanted, but the truth of it is that if I really wanted to get over my trust/relationship issues, I needed to be in a trustworthy relationship that would exercise those for me. Does that make sense? I do think it's important to not rush into a relationship before you're ready, though. That will absolutely do more harm than good.

So that's that for me. Any of you readers have thoughts on this one? I'm sure you do. :)

Also, did you all see the absolutely amazing comment from Boy Wonder's ex?? She left it on the I'm Engaged (part 1) post, and she was Anonymous at 10:54 on Sept. 23. It means so much to me that she left that comment. Thanks, girl. :) Hope I'm not embarrassing you by directing everyone to go read your comment!! I just want them all to know how awesome you are, and how amazing this whole situation is. For real.

Alright. I'm out. I was up until 5 AM finishing my sex research (remember that?), and I've got clients AAALLLLL day, and then an engagement party tonight that I sincerely hope I don't sleep through. haha. later.

Thanks

2009-09-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who sent their congrats and comments!! It means a lot to me. Is it weird that one of the first things I thought when I got engaged was, "How are my readers going to respond to this?!"

I think I might need a blog detox.

And I promise I'll post pictures and details soon. Maybe Friday. I am reeeeaaally busy with school right now. And Boy is in town for a few days, which means my focus and/or motivation is pretty much limited to one or two key subjects. Ok, one key subject. Who am I trying to fool?

I will be doing Q&A tomorrow like usual. I've got a few good questions I'm deciding between. Make sure you keep sending them in!

And with that I'll leave you with a picture of me and Boy Wonder from a while ago. Back in April, maybe? Maybe May. Not sure.

Oh, and this glorious verbatim text message I got from my mom, which said:

"Freak out...le freak shey sheek. That should be your wedding song:-)"

Thanks, mom. I'll keep that in mind...

-- Post From My iPhone

I'm engaged (part 1)

2009-09-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I was home alone and I came across the following dilemma:

To look or not to look?? Who leaves an engagement ring hidden in their soon-to-be-fiancé's house?!

Apparently Boy Wonder does.

He was like, "You found it?!? You are in sooo much trouble!"

And I was like, "Umm...You're the genious that hid my engagement ring IN MY HOUSE!!" Hello?!? That's like hiding a raw steak from a German shephard in his own doghouse. I mean, c'mon.

It's a good thing I have amazing self control. I totally didn't look at it!! Though I did have to call my neighbor and ask her to come confiscate it. ASAP. Thanks, Kari. Your diamond-sitting was greatly appreciated. And I'm glad the ring has found her way home now. She likes being on my finger. And I'm thinking the new accessory suits me quite nicely. :)

-- Post From My iPhone

Peace

2009-09-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

"When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else." --Joseph Campbell

I absolutely believe this is true, although we have to make sure we don't shirk our responsibilities just so we can "follow our bliss." I might insert the word "peace" where "bliss" is. When we follow the peace, and what gives you peace, doors will open.

I had an amazing weekend. And I'm utilizing some serious faith to follow my peace at the moment.

On Saturday Boy Wonder asked me to marry him.

I said yes.

Bubba Luvva

2009-09-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

I told you she was scraggly:

But her scraggly-ness is what makes her so stinking adorable!! In a homely sort of way.

And here is the perfect moment capturing picture of my Bubba Girl who found a stage in the middle of target and started singing, "my family, my family." And she got really mad when I tried to make her leave. And people were walking by and clapping. Hahaha. This picture speaks volumes about her.

Man I love this weird little child!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Oh, and I'm in love. Just FYI. :)

-- Post From My iPhone

Q&A: Stay At Home Mom

2009-09-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had a reader submit a really good question this week--one that I think many of you out there might relate to. Thank you so much to the reader who put herself out there to send me this question...

Q: Is it normal to just not want to be a mom sometimes? I am a stay at home mother and sometimes I just want to quit and go away. It is not that I don't love my children but I get overwhelmed sometimes. I read your post and want to feel the same way about my kids but I don't. I love the fact that 3 of them go to school all day. Is it bad to feel this way. Growing up I always thought that I would go to work and that my husband would stay home with the kids. Obviously it is not that way and it is very hard sometimes.

A: Dear Reader,
I think that your feelings of being overwhelmed, and just wanting to quit are more common than you might think. Being a stay at home mom is HARD! I've only got two kids, but it was very hard to stay home with them in the sense that it is a long, often times thankless, non-mentally stimulating job. Going back to work was hard, too, but I would definitely say that it was harder to stay home. It took way more self-motivation, I had to find sources of self-esteem elsewhere, and definitely had to take care of myself. The number one thing I would suggest to help you feel less overwhelmed? MAKE TIME TO BE AN ADULT. Make yourself go out with friends every once in a while. Make yourself get dressed at least a couple times a week (haha, serious). Find something that you can do that will be beneficial for your self esteem--like take a class at a local college, exercise, go get a massage once a month, or something like that. It is so easy to wear our scrubby mom clothes and eat nothing but PB&J and macaroni and cheese for weeks at a time. And this gets old. Fast.

Hang in there!! Find other moms to vent to. Pray to be more patient and/or loving and/or whatever with your kids. And know that I think EVERY mom goes through ups and downs, and every mom is relieved some days when her kids finally leave for school, and every mom has times when she thinks WHY IN THE WORLD AM I DOING THIS?!?! It sounds like your expectation wasn't to be home with the kids in the first place, so you have an added layer of adjusting to do with that as well. Is there a part time job you could get one or two days a week while your kids are in school? Maybe that would help.

Mostly I just want you to know that you're not alone. And if you ever feel like you are, and you're having a "being a stay at home mom sucks" kind of day, you can always shoot me an email.

Please leave a comment if you have felt similar to this reader. We could all use some support around the incredibly difficult and incredibly important job of raising our kids...no matter what that looks like for us.

Little (creepy) Pleasures

2009-09-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

We've had two accountants at the clinic this week auditing our files. I got to work one day and this little gem was taped to their door, courtesy of our site director.

Hahahaha. I love my job.

-- Post From My iPhone

Update: Boy Wonder

2009-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

So I know you've all been wondering what in the heck is going on with me and The Boy. I've been nice enough to drop little hints here and there just to keep you coming back for more.

Has it been working? Enough of the teasing. Here's the update:

Let's see... So around the end of June I felt like Boy and I needed to break up. Felt a lot of peace about the whole thing. Boy wasn't too happy, but understood the whole "i feel peace" thing.

But then he did something very smart.

He ignored me.

We had ZERO contact.

He even deleted me as a friend on Facebook! WHAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STALK YOUR PAGE AND HATE ALL THE STUPID GIRLS YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN THEM EVEN THOUGH I'M REALLY SECRETLY WORRIED THAT YOU LIKE THEM BETTER THAN ME IF YOU DELETE ME AS A FRIEND?!?!?

Honestly. Some people are just so selfish. :)

Anyway, it was a good move. And though I did feel a lot of peace, I also really missed him. But for the record I stand by my decision to end things for a while. I was able to focus on some things I needed to change, and I think he was able to do the same, and I think we both (mostly me) realized just how perfect we were for each other.

So I called him on his birthday. He didn't answer.

Stupid freaking boy. I KNOW YOU SEE I'M CALLING YOU. Ugh.

And then I really started missing him. A lot. And my sister told me to call him and tell him that I missed him. And I'm stubborn and said no no no way. He's out dating a bunch of blonde bimbos and he doesn't want to hear from me. (No offense intended to all the blondes and/or bimbos that may read this blog.)

And then that night I got a text from him that said something like, "You're amazing. Just thinking about you."

Talk about good timing. What a coincidence. :)

So we talked. For a few hours. And he had a "business meeting" out by my house he had to come to, and asked if he could take me out. I said I'd be mad if he didn't.

And things have been pretty amazing ever since. And getting more and more serious.

And I feel an unbelievable amount of peace when I think about a future with The Boy. And a part of me is scared. And I think a part of me will always be scared, and I just have to honor that part of me. And I think there are a million things about Boy Wonder that make me want a future with him, and that allow me to feel unconditionally loved, and protected, and understood.

And I just got goosebumps. And I'm peaceful. And I'm excited. And I'm happy.

Good things ahead, my friends. Good things ahead. :)

I've Been Nominated

2009-09-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

I've been nominated by a friend of mine for a favorite blog contest or something. I think you have to become a member of the site to vote...check it out. And thanks, Tierra! :)

By Body & Soul

I Asked God...

2009-09-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

I asked God for strength,
He gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked God for wisdom,
He gave me problems to solve.
I asked God for prosperity,
He gave me brain and brawn to work.
I asked God for courage,
He gave me danger to overcome.
I asked God for love,
He gave me troubled people to help.
I asked God for favors,
He gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted,
And everything I needed.

And The Lush Boutique Winner Is...

2009-09-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Nicolette!!

Congratulations!! You can choose a pair of earrings from Lush Boutique, or apply a $25 gift certificate to any purchase of your choice. I will get Lush Boutique in contact with you.

Thanks to everyone who entered! Just, fyi, I used random.org to choose the winner. Kind of a cool site.

P.S. I've got a 5 hour sex therapy class today. 5 hours?! Of sex therapy?! I'm pretty sure there are very few things more torturous for an LDS, divorced, NOT HAVING SEX BUT REALLY WANTING TO woman than to have to sit through 5 hours of sex talk. eeesh.

My professor sent out an email with our readings and it said, "please come to class prepared to discuss what makes good sex."

My head just might explode right in the middle of class. Right there.

It's like my wise father says,
"Sex is like pizza. The worst piece of pizza in the world is still pizza."

And with that, I'll leave you.

Stay tuned for more giveaways coming soon! Have a great weekend everyone. :)

Q&A: BLEH

2009-09-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Why can't Nikki think of a question for today?

A: Because she may or may not be in the middle of semi-breakdown mode. Oops. I would also just like to say thank you to whoever put fabulous hearts and motivational signs all over my garage and front door. I drove up from class around 9:30 last night, and big "YOU CAN DO IT" and "IT ALL WORKS OUT" signs were hung all over. And I thought to myself: This is why I need to be veerrry careful about what I write on my blog! Because I have tons of ridiculously amazing people in my life who keep track of how I'm doing, and when I'm having my moments of The Quits (not to be confused with The Runs, which are different but equally upsetting), they come do something sweet like put hearts and signs all over my garage. For the whole neighborhood to see. Yay. :)

So thanks. Thanks to everyone who left supportive comments yesterday, too. And for being interested in reading this blog even when I swear there is NOTHING cool at all about it. haha. And thanks to Boy Wonder for helping with my kids yesterday. He is in town visiting, and Ex and I had a last minute change of plans, and Boy stepped up and helped out. And didn't even complain about it. And when I came home my kids were both asleep, and the dishes were done. And he was sitting on the couch just hanging out. And I kind of wish he'd be just sitting on the couch hanging out more often. Out of state relationships are l-a-m-e. the end. He's been pretty amazing lately, though. That's for sure. Maybe I'll tell you all about it sometime.

And let me just tell you one reason I love each of my sisters. Just so when they read this today they'll feel happy inside:

Calee--suprised me this weekend and showed up at my house with a new boy. No luggage. No suitcases. They just went for a drive and 8 hours later ended up at my house. I loved having her here. She always cuts/dyes/plays with my hair, and yells at me for using cheap shampoo, and asks for advice on her 49 year old boyfriend.

Kristina Rae--having a bit of a hard time right now because life isn't working out how she planned it would. Luckily I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what that must feel like. I am proud of her for trying to be in tune with the spirit and for wanting to make the choices Heavenly Father would have her make right now, even though it is insanely frustrating to feel like you have no direction, and like nothing you're trying is working. Hang in there, girl. There is a plan. It will become clear soon enough. And now I am going to go repeat that 10,000 times until I believe it myself. haha.

Brooke--many of you read my youngest sister's blog because she is so incredibly intelligent and funny. And she also happens to be amazingly beautiful. And she feels things very deeply. And she hates talking on the phone. Like, loathes it. Honestly if you want to communicate with her, don't call. Text. I love this little quirk about her. She gets antsy after just a few minutes of talking on the phone, and then sometimes she gets annoyed and maybe even borderline rude. haha. So random. And just Brooke. And it was fun (is that the right word? Maybe not quite...) to spend time with her a couple weekends ago, and I miss her living with me and being here to watch stupid TV shows with, and gag on body funk butter. And if you don't remember that post, you missed out on a good one.

Anyway, today I am thankful for my sisters. And for good friends and blog readers who give me a pick-me-up when I need it. And for Boy Wonder who continues to be wonderful. And for two beautiful, healthy daughters. And for the opportunity to be in school even though I am completely overwhelmed by it. And for my new bra (seriously, makes such a difference in how I view the world. Not kidding). And for mcdonald's cheeseburgers. And for my pillow.

And that's what I'm going to think about today. Happy thoughts, Nikki. It's time today to have some joy. :)

Let me clarify...

2009-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, I think I need to clarify a little bit on how to enter the Lush Boutique Give away. If you want to enter, you MUST write a post on your blog about Have Joy and the give away. If you would like additional entries, you can post my button, or become a follower. Sorry if that was unclear.

Moving on: I have a bad case of the Quits at the moment. I basically just want to quit everything.

I want to quit school. It takes up so much time. It is so hard. It is extremely emotion consuming. It's stupid. haha.

I want to quit work/internship. It also takes up so much time. It is also hard. It is also emotionally exhausting.

I want to quit blogging. I think I'm running out of entertaining things to write about.

I sort of just want to stock up (and yes, I first wrote "stalk up." Wow.) on a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper and have a LifeTime Movie Marathon until I just slip slowly and peacefully into madness.

If I didn't have two adorable kids that needed their mama, I would totally do it. Right now. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), those two little buggers are keeping me from doing any of that. Boo. Sometimes being a responsible mom is no fun. No fun at all.

By the way, my little Bear is the absolute cutest thing right now. She is honestly the most homely little child I think I've ever seen. haha. Which only adds to her appeal. Don't get me wrong, I think she's cute. But she is just so scraggly!! She has this amazing mullet/80's/boy haircut that Bug so lovingly bestowed upon her. Her hair is so thin that when she wakes up it is just a giant rat's nest on her head, and there's not a lot I can do to make it cuter. Her teeth are protruding because she still takes a binky at nap and bedtime. I just haven't had the heart to take it away from her. It's like the only consistent thing in her life. haha. Sad. She is going through this "i don't need a diaper but I'm not potty trained" phase, which consists of her taking off her diaper at every possible moment and running her bare little buns around the house. She laughs and talks and sings to herself. And she's pretty much always got some sort of food and/or marker and/or mystery goo on her shirt/hands/face.

So there ya go. A scraggly headed, buck toothed, dirty, naked baby. haha. Who just loves life and sings and dances and says "play wish me, mom" and "I did it!!" and just makes me smile every day.

Man I love my kids. I hope I have the opportunity to have more someday.

And with that, I'd better run. LOVE YOUR KIDS, PEOPLE. Just do it. :)

No title.

2009-09-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

I hate having to find babysitters for my kids.

HATE.

And a part of me feels bad for even blogging about this, because so many people who read this blog help me out with that. And I appreciate them SO MUCH. But I'm going to whine for just a minute.

I want to be home with my kids. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to work. I want to be my kids' mom. So when I have to go to class or work and I have to find someone to watch them, I get really sad. And I hate making the phone call...hi, can you watch my kids tomorrow? No? Ok, thanks. And then again...hi, can you watch my kids tomorrow? No? Ok, thanks. And then again and again. And then I ask myself, "Why is it that I'm in a position where I have to ask people to watch my kids, when all I really want is to be home with them?"

It makes me sad. And I miss them. And I know that they are growing up right now and I'm missing pieces of it. And that kills me.

Ugh.

And I'm back in school for the fall. First class today. And I really don't want to go back. I'm having all of these "just quit" thoughts. Very unlike me. But I miss my babies, and that's where those thoughts are coming from. And it's been nice for the last couple of weeks to not be in school, and to be able to keep my house clean, and to go grocery shopping, and to go to bed at a decent time, and take my kids to the park, and not drop them off to any babysitters. I'm already behind in my readings, and staying up way too late stressing about projects, and feeling like I'm slowly walking into the deep end again. I hate that feeling.

Hate.

Two more semesters, Nikki. You'll be glad you hung in there.

I hope.

Labor Day

2009-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

A little info:
Labor Day (Labour Day) is celebrated around the world to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers. The majority of countries celebrate Labour Day on May 1, popularly known as May Day and International Workers' Day. In Poland, the day was renamed to "State Holiday" in 1990. In Slovenia and Ukraine, May 2 is also a national holiday.

In the United States and Canada Labor Day is celebrated on the first Monday of September. Ireland (also called May Day) on the first Monday in May. The Bahamas on the first Friday of June. And New Zealand on the fourth Monday of October.

And my favorite quote about labor:

One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow. --Vincent T. Floss

AKA: That's it for my blogging today. See ya tomorrow. :)

Give Away: Lush Boutique

2009-09-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh I love Jenni's jewelry at Lush Boutique!! I am so excited to do this giveaway! Lush Boutique is full of fresh and chic handmade jewelry, and I really had a hard time picking my favorites to post. I love that her pieces are unique and different, and she'll even do custom orders if you need a different color or size. Yay!

The winner of this giveaway can choose a pair of earrings from either the Lush Boutique Blog or the Lush Boutique Etsy Shop. AND, Jenni was sweet enough to offer a 15% discount to my readers until next Friday, September 11th. Just enter the code HaveJoy15 at checkout and you'll keep a little more cash in your pocket. :)

Here are some pictures of my favorite pieces, but be sure to check out her blog and Etsy shop, too:

Love the purple in this ring:

This is by far one of my favorites:

And P.S. I would totally wear this all the time with a casual t-shirt
and skinny jeans. Yes please.

How adorable is this asymmetrical necklace?!

Oh the turquoise and red together literally make my
mouth water with jewelry lust. Yummy.

So here's how you enter to win your choice of earrings from Lush Boutique:

1. Do a post on your blog about Have Joy and this giveaway. Make sure you include a link to Have Joy and why you enjoy this blog, as well as mentioning this giveaway by Lush Boutique.
2. Leave me a comment with a link to your blog telling me you posted about this giveaway. Make sure that if your blog is private you invite me at havejoy(at)ymail.com so I can verify you did the post!! Otherwise your entry will not count.

If you would like additional entries you can do either (or both) of the following:
1. Become a follower of Have Joy
2. Post the Have Joy button on your blog

Then...

Leave me a comment telling me that you're a follower and/or posted my button. Even if you were a follower before this giveaway, leaving me a comment on this post will enter you into this giveaway. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm being very confusing right now. haha. :)

Again, make sure that HaveJoy is invited to read your blog if it's private so we can verify your entries.

This giveaway will end next Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 10 pm PST. I'll announce the winner next Friday.

I am sooo excited for this giveaway!! Many thanks to Jenni at Lush Boutique!!

P.S. I am liking my hair more and more. Phew. Also, things with Boy Wonder were pretty wonderful this weekend. Stay tuned for more details. :)

Q&A: Love Story

2009-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: What is your marriage/engagement story? How long did you date before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you got married? Was this your first marriage, or had you done it before? I always like hearing people's love stories. Oh, and here's the kicker: Now that you are married, would you have done anything differently? Are you happily married? Are there things you wish you had done/known/asked while you were dating?

Let's hear it, people...

Nothing good to say

2009-09-02T05:31:00.000-07:00

Going back to California today. Really excited to see my kids. Sort of sad to leave Utah. This trip has been full of pretty high highs and pretty low lows.

PS. I'm doing another give away on Friday! Make sure you come check it out.

PPS. Dyed my hair reeeally dark. Weird. But cute. I hope.
-- Post From My iPhone

My Monday

2009-09-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

What did I do yesterday? Let me give you a little run down.

First of all, I'm still in utah. Long story, don't ask. Here's what my day looked like:

1. Pretend to help Boy Wonder move.

2. Watch as sister Brooke and Boy Wonder remove a flat tire from her car, go to the tire place, buy 2 new tires, then wait for an hour in the parking lot waiting for the tires to arrive. Seriously. We bonded.

3. Leave my phone at the teller's desk at the bank.

4. Drive the Sammy's van and stall it a few times. At least it's inconspicuous.

5. Go to dinner with some of
Boy Wonder's family and watch with humor/horror when his aunt gets a piece of rice stuck in her throat and keeps coughing and laughing and hacking trying to get it out until she finally sneezes and it comes out onto Boy Wonder's shirt. Hahahahah.

6. Have a few really good talks with the sister and with the Boy. At separate times.

So there ya go. By the way, thanks for all the bangs love. I'm slowly but surely starting to like them more...

Happy September!! Crazy.

-- Post From My iPhone

Beautiful

2009-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

I love this idea... Be your own kind of beautiful. And own it!! And to help me remember my own advice, here's me trying to be comfortable being my own kind of beautiful--with bangs. Not so sure these were the greatest idea, but I'm working with them.

-- Post From My iPhone

Excitement!!

2009-08-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry to those of you who attended the live chat last night. Without me. haha. I was at my neighbor's house watching their kids so they could go out, and I completely forgot. oops.

In other news, 12:15.

12:15 is the time.

Hair appointment.

yeeesssss...

I'm not doing color, because I'm going on my lunch break so I won't have time. I'll do that at a later date. Ready or not, bangs are a-comin'.

Oh, I got a couple new clients. Haven't met them yet...but one is a 6 year old girl and I'm really excited/nervous about seeing her. I have no idea what to do therapy-wise with a 6 year old. Ummm...yeah.

Also, I'M GOING TO UTAH TODAY!! I am going straight to the airport from work, and straight from the Utah airport to a Rockapella concert. They are an absolutely unreal a cappella group. I'm STOKED. Boy Wonder may or may not be involved. Real excited to see my sister and to spend some time with Boy. This is also why I'm sort of nervous about getting my hair done tomorrow, because I literally go straight from the salon to work to the airport and Boy is picking me up. So, if I look like a 12 year old school girl I think it might be a short weekend. :)

Anyway, wish me luck!! Here is a little video of Rockapella so you can be one of the following:

a) Very excited/jealous
b) Confused because you're not into a cappella music
c) Wondering why Nikki doesn't just cut her hair like the lead singer
d) Super confused because Nikki just referenced Boy Wonder and left everyone hanging.
(evil laugh:muahahahahahahah)

I seriously get goosebumps every time the lead comes in. Every time. Enjoy :)

Wishing you all fabulous weekends!!

Q&A: Where Do You Bump?

2009-08-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Every married couple will clash over certain topics. Well, every married couple that is made up of two separate people with their own brains, and their own experiences, and their own expectations, anyway. I've been thinking about this a bit lately, wondering what areas I will bump with my future spouse. So the question for today is: What do you and your spouse argue about? Maybe argue isn't the right word...maybe "areas you both have to compromise" is a better way to say it. No marriage is compromise-free. What are your rough topics?

A: It's all in your hands, readers. :)

P.S. I'll be hosting another live chat tonight for anyone that is interested. 9 PM, PST. I'll be here.

To Bang or Not To Bang

2009-08-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

hahahahahah. Ok. Now that I just spent the last 20 minutes laughing at the unintentional innuendo that is the title of this post, I shall now move on.

I'm needing a hair update. I get bored of mine fairly often and switch it up, and now is one of those times. Many times the change is a good one. Lots of times, it's a terrible terrible mistake. I like my hair long because it's so low maintenance, so I don't want to cut it. So I was thinking of going dark. Like, darker than it is now (which basically leaves black). And then I had the brilliant idea of doing straight across bangs. And the more I think about it, the more I want to do it.

The million dollar question is this: How do I make sure I'll look cute and hip with my straight across bangs and not like a 7th grader? One answer would be to never use the word "hip" again. Done. Also the fact that I don't have braces is probably a plus. Though I may or may not still wear a retainer at night. I'm crazy like that. And the ladybug retainer pattern accentuates lingerie quite nicely. hahahaha.

So I've been perusing photo galleries of bangs and I think this is the winner. Maybe I like her because she has my same color hair and blue eyes, so I can visualize my face under her coif better. Or it could be because I always dress up like this, with the headband, and the pretty dress, and the fake eyelashes. Especially on my "clean the toilets" day. Honestly, part of having your hair look cute is your overall style, which I believe I am lacking. haha. Will this hair look cute on me in my mom clothes and dark under eye circles? Or will I just look like a 13 year old pioneer?

I'll keep you posted on the decision. I'm sure you'll all be anxiously awaiting...

Random Thoughts

2009-08-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

You know when you're so tired that you feel sick when you wake up? Yeah...that is me this morning. I've had a couple reeeaallly late nights...but late in a good way.

Bug's first day of preschool today!!! Yay!! She is really excited and really nervous. I am happy that I was able to figure out a way to work it out with my crazy-nutso-schedule. Blessing :)

I had a really great weekend. Wicked was awesome. We had 3rd row seats, which was almost too close. Almost. We sat by a lady who had seen the live show 37 times. Apparently she follows it around the country. Not creepy at all.

I got a trampoline for my kids yesterday!! FUN!! They are so so excited, and so is their mom. :) I may or may not like to sneak out there and bust out a few flips every now and again.

I'm feeling like good things are happening in my life right now. Everyone cross your fingers.

Okay, I'm off. Send Bug your happy thoughts today! Yay for preschool!!

Hard Work

2009-08-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Hard work is like manure. It sure stinks, but it helps things grow."

Hahah. And I'm knee deep in it at the moment. I must be doing a lot of growing. :)

And The Winner Is...

2009-08-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

The Hoeksemas!!

(I used classtools.net to randomly pick a name)

Congratulations on your new, adorable scripture case!! Email me at havejoy(at)ymail.com and let me know the address you would like me to send it to.

Stay tuned for future give aways!!

P.S. I am so stinking excited for San Francisco tomorrow!!
P.P.S. I saw my first couple yesterday. Sort of scary. Mostly really exciting.
P.P.P.S. I stay up way too late for no good reason. Why do I do that?
P.P.P.P.S. I miss Boy Wonder :(

Q&A: Sleep Vs. Sex

2009-08-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Do you prefer a great night's sleep to great sex?

A: According to a global study done by Westin Hotels (released Aug 17, 2009), 51% of respondents prefer good sleep to good sex.

I say, THAT DOES NOT SURPRISE ME AT ALL WHY IS THIS STUDY GETTING AIR TIME ON THE NEWS I SWEAR YOU CAN GET GREAT SEX WAY EASIER THAN YOU CAN GET SOME DECENT SHUT EYE ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND/OR A JOB AND/OR A LIFE AND/OR ARE BREATHING.

haha. But that's just me. :)

Other little discoveries from this study you may find interesting:

51% of travelers in the US prefer a great night's sleep to great sex, compared with just 31% who chose sleep over sex 10 years ago. Apparently we're getting more and more tired as time goes on.
The men were more likely than women to prefer SLEEP to SEX. Weird, eh? In this study, the women actually preferred sex to sleep more often than the boys. Interesting.
In nine out of 10 countries surveyed, snoozing beat sex. Only the Canadians chose seduction over sleep. Horny b-sturds. (Literally pronounced "bee-sturds")

Click HERE to read the full report.

So, sex or sleep? I vote sleep.

Is this hurting my chances at getting remarried? haha. Shooty darn.

**P.S. Supernal Scripture Case Giveaway ends today!! Make sure you become a follower! Pass this giveaway along to any friends who might be interested. I'll announce the winner tomorrow. Yipee hoo!**

Blog Fart

2009-08-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am having a blog-fart.

Think brain-fart, but with a blog.

You feel me?

I am currently on a little 2 week break from school. SO HAPPY. Honestly, I can't even EXPRESS how much more time I have when I'm not in class, driving to class, or reading/writing papers/studying for class. Don't get me wrong, I really love being in this program right now, and it has saved my life in lots of ways.

And...

I'm going to be stoked come May 2010 when I walk across the stage wearing a funny little hat and know that I have officially completed my Master's degree.

Majorly stoked.

Been watching More To Love. I just want to get my little therapist hands on all those girls. Does that sound as creepy to you as it did to me when I reread it? I definitely mean in a therapy way. Not a more...weird...okay...

I'm going to see Wicked on Saturday in San Fran. Super excited about the weekend in general. Good things, I think.

My old BYU roommate's brother and his girlfriend are coming out to a wedding and will be staying at my place for a couple days. I was thinking of replacing all the light bulbs in my house with blacklights, and having lava lamps, incense and zebra rugs thrown here and there, just to spice things up and give them something to talk about back home. Thoughts? Maybe I'll hire a tiny man to wear angel wings and dance in a cage that hangs from the ceiling. Oooh. I like it. I'm thinking something like this:

I wish you many happy thoughts of this sweetheart today. Many happy thoughts...

Peter at the Perk

2009-08-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me this video and said she thought I would appreciate it.

Wow did I.

This girl is for real. And her kool-aid hair is definitely less ghetto.

Blog Makeover!!!

2009-08-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

How's my new look?!?!

I absolutely, positively, with all my being love this new layout!

Kristin at Simply Whimsy Designs was absolutely fabulous to work with and did such a great job! She was super available, amazingly patient, and really, honestly would not give up until I absolutely loved the new look. Which I desperately do. Have I mentioned that already?

Check out the navigation bar across the top, Have Joy News at the top left, and my adorable button on the right sidebar!!

WOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Please let me know if you click a link that doesn't work or see something that is out of place...I am still in the process of working out all the kinks.

Let me know what you think about the new look!!

And check out Simply Whimsy Designs:

Happiness is when...

2009-08-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. --Gandhi

I agree with this 100%. I believe when we say things we don't mean, or don't say things we do mean, or do something that we know goes against our thinking or beliefs, we are unhappy. This goes perfectly with my thoughts about our last Q&A on stuffing emotions.

I definitely think that we need to be respectful of others' feelings and be polite to those around us, and I think we need to act in accordance with what we are thinking and saying in order to be truly happy.

I have decided to start making a conscious effort to make my words and actions congruent with my thoughts.

Good thing my thoughts are always positive. This will be a piece of cake.

And I'm a big fat liar, just in case any of you were wondering.
(I'm a liar about the whole "this will be a piece of cake" thing. Not about the conscious effort to make my thoughts/words/actions harmonious thing. I really am going to try it. You can never get enough harmony going on. :)

Scripture Case Give Away!!

2009-08-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

I absolutely adore these scripture cases from Supernal Industry. I think they are all so unique and just down right cool. I have the Ruthy 2 (not pictured), and I get compliments on it all the time. Love love. And that happens to be the same style that I am giving away!! Happy.

Click HERE, and then click "Ruthy 2" to see a picture of the case I'm giving away. Once you're there you can click on the picture to see it from a few different angles. Sorry I can't link directly to it.

In order to enter this giveaway, you must become a follower of my blog. That's it. To do so, click the "follow" button on the left sidebar of this page. You can sign in with a Google, AIM, or Yahoo account. If you don't have one of those accounts, or already were a follower, or can't figure out how to become a follower (mom, I'm talking to you), then leave me a comment explaining that and I'll enter you into the contest that way.

This giveaway will close next Thursday, August 20th, at 10 pm, PST. I will use a random picking program online to pick the winner, and will announce that lucky champ one week from today.

Yipee-hooo!! (Mom, that was for you, too.)

P.S. Had a little mini-chat last night with a couple readers (literally, 2 of them), but I thought it was fun. Thanks you two for the quick chat session!

P.P.S. Remember that one time I did my first give away? Yeah, that was pretty fun.

Q&A: Stuffing Emotions

2009-08-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Why do we learn, as a culture/society/nation, to stuff our emotions instead of honoring them? Why is it considered impolite to be true to what we are feeling?

For example, when we have an appointment with someone and they are 20 minutes late, and they finally come in and say, "I'm so sorry I'm late," and even though we're really annoyed, we say, "Oh, it's ok." Just like that. Stuff.

Or when the kid you invited over for a play date slugs your kid in the face, and the mom says (unconvincingly), "no, no, Jr.," without really disciplining her kid, even though your kid is bleeding all over, and we just silently clean up the mess and quietly promise ourselves to never invite Jr. over for another playdate. Just like that. Stuff.

Or when someone at work or church drops the ball and doesn't do an assignment, and their work falls on your shoulders, and we mumble and grumble and pick up their slack, but never confront them about it. Just like that. Stuff.

Or when you're having a terrible day, and you feel like any second you might burst into tears or kick someone in the teeth, and when you pass your friend at the mall and she says, "Hi! How are you?" With her perfect little hair, and her perfect little outfit, and her perfectly well behaved little Baby Gap models instead of children, and we just smile and say, "Oh I'm just great." Even though we are really on the verge of a breakdown. Just like that. Stuff.

I understand that there is a fine line between honoring your feelings and being flat out rude. I am not suggesting that you ignore everyone else's feelings so you can justify being a jerk. But I just don't see what is so wrong with saying,

"I am really frusterated that you are 20 minutes late! I have another appointment to be at, and now I am not going to make it."

or

"I am upset that Jr. slugged my kid in the nose. Can we talk about it for a minute?"

or

"Hi Perfect Lady Friend. I am actually not doing so hot at the moment. I'm pretty tired, and my kids are crabby, and none of my clothes fit, and I just got into a fight with my husband about his incessant need to spend money on dumb things like air fresheners and beef jerky. Sorry to lay all that on you. But thanks for asking."

I know that we can't spill our life stories to everyone on the street. And that many times it's just way more convenient to put on the happy face. But I also know that making it a habit of stuffing your feelings is a dangerous game to play. Pretty soon, in my opinion, you'll stop recognizing your feelings, and just find yourself being really irritated at your friend, but you can't figure out why. Oh yeah! Two months ago she ditched me and went to the movies with another friend of ours without inviting me. That really hurt my feelings, but I never told her because it would be awkward, so now it just sits inside me and festers.

I think we don't honor our true, in the moment feelings because it seems easier not to. It is uncomfortable to tell someone you are upset with them. It is anxiety provoking to tell Jr's mom that her son hits all the children so much that no one wants to play with him anymore. But guess what? If I'm Jr's mom, I for sure want to know if my kid is doing something inappropriate. And I also want to know if I could have handled it differently. And if I disagree, then I disagree. But disagreeing doesn't mean it has to be a fight, or a ruined relationship.

I don't know. I have a billion thoughts about this right now and I'm just rambling. What are your thoughts? Better to keep it to yourself so you don't hurt someone's feelings? Better to say what you think? Why are we raised to stuff our emotions? Leave me your thoughts. And if you're interested in chatting live about this topic, I'll be here tonight at 9 pm, PST.

Peace.

Silly Baby

2009-08-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

The other night around 11 pm, I noticed that Bear's light was on in her room. Odd, since she'd been in bed since 8. I listened at the door--heard nothing. Slowly opened the door until I could see her bed--empty. Opened the door a little wider and scanned the floor...nowhere.

Interesting.

My eyes move upward. Bingo. Asleep on her changing table. Complete with binkie and blankie. I'm not sure if she climbed up there and couldn't figure out how to get down, or if the physical exertion required to hoist her chubby buns up onto the changing table just wiped her out by the time she got to the top. Either way, it made me smile and take a picture.

P.S. I was up way too late studying for a final I have tonight. Bleh. Remind me again why I thought going to school was a good idea?

P.P.S. I will be doing Q&A tomorrow, and will be hosting a live chat for anyone interested Thursday, 9 pm PST.

Ode to Dr. Pepper (PART 2)

2009-08-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Emily who showed me this amazing video. I need to marry this man.

Inspiring Thought

2009-08-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

One of the therapists I work with has this quote in her office, and I love it:

I release the need to determine how things "should" be...

This is something I've struggled with my whole life. People "should" behave this way, marriages "should" be like this, friends "should" do this, life "should" look like this.

Guess what?

This particular sh word is full of the other sh word! We all have expectations in our lives that affect the way we live, the way we view others, and the way we respond to life. Want to know what some of mine were?

1. People should always make good choices.
2. People should be honest, always.
3. Moms should make dinner for their families.
4. Husbands should want to come home to their wives.
5. Friends should tell you the truth, even if it's hard.
6. I should always give 100% to everything I do.
7. I should never tell people when I'm having a bad day.

You know what? These shoulds can ruin lives. They can ruin marriages. These shoulds make us expect things that are unrealistic. And they allow us to be disappointed when things don't turn out how they "should." And most of the time we don't even know what our "shoulds" are! This quote made me realize that my expectations were just a form of control, of my need to know what the outcome would be.

The more I am able to release that need, the more I will be able to accept life for what it is--a series of twists, and bumps, and surprises, and heartaches.

Think about what your shoulds are. Shoulds in your marriage. Shoulds with your friends. Shoulds with your kids. Shoulds with yourselves. Share some of them. They may be enlightening to someone...